Notes from Melanie - Comedy/Drama Short Film

Share
Embed
  • Published on Nov 22, 2019
  • Logline: A screenwriter known for ripoff “mockbusters” asks his successful former colleague for feedback on his first serious script.
    Cast: Mason Heidger, KateLynn E. Newberry, John Flickinger, Matthew Brando, Rob Grant
    Composer: Aaron J. Morton
    Cinematographer: Greg Kraus
    Writer/Director: Chris Stuckmann
  • EntertainmentEntertainment

Comments • 4 614

  • Chris Stuckmann
    Chris Stuckmann  15 days ago +3286

    Thank you everyone for watching and for leaving your thoughts, praises, criticisms, all of it. I'm proud of the work we did on this tiny movie, and can't wait to try other things soon.

    • Thomas Leisman
      Thomas Leisman 5 hours ago

      You wrote Joe as an idiot. I couldn't root for him. I wanted him to fail.

    • Raja Raj
      Raja Raj 4 days ago

      The staging could have been better, may be a public place like coffee shop or even a park could have added a bit of color and mood. This room looks so bland and colourless. But I enjoyed the humour in it.

    • J A C K
      J A C K 10 days ago

      Love this movie very well directed extremely funny and captivating right to the end

    • Fez Macauly
      Fez Macauly 11 days ago

      Loved it Chris!!!you inspired me to want to review movies and games and I really thank you for that.

    • JassarBrush
      JassarBrush 11 days ago

      Can't wait to see more from you Chris! people have provided all the comments I had in mind so I won't repeat the same thing again. I really liked the humorous parts the most. I'm in Wisconsin and willing to work with you in any way. Let's be in touch.

  • Rebecca Steen
    Rebecca Steen 2 hours ago

    Love you Chris, and I'm always rooting for you. This is just my constructive criticism that you may never see:
    This should have happened in a kitchen/dining room or living room. This looks too carefully staged, and unnatural. Also, the dialogue needed better flow or maybe just less rigid actors (particularly the woman). In real life, people interrupt one another, especially when they don't like what's being said. Have one of them finish the other's sentence, or break in with a question. That would make it feel less stale and rigid.
    They also needed more to do. Like she could have been giving him notes while he was making pancakes in the kitchen. He could have gotten more engrossed in his task (i.e: looking for chocolate chips, continuously pulling things in and out of the refrigerators) as he gets more frustrated with her criticisms - culminating with something getting knocked over, maybe a glass breaking, milk spilling - just something! Having them both just kind of sit and stand wasn't visually captivating.
    This wasn't bad. It just felt like play with a vague plot and no blocking.

  • Lucky Chips
    Lucky Chips 22 hours ago

    I liked it overall but, the dialogue is a bit off. Don't worry though I have trouble writting dialogue fir short stories myself. So, I get it.

  • oscar hills
    oscar hills 23 hours ago

    I adore Mission: possibly, very hard. I laughed so hard. The camera work is also so perfect. A film doesn’t need dozens of cuts during a conversation which many generic Hollywood drama films do, but here it was so smoothly done and there was a clear focus on each character.

  • Lucas Rizzotto
    Lucas Rizzotto 23 hours ago

    Congratulations on working on it and finishing it!

  • Lore
    Lore Day ago

    😂 this was hilarious

  • Flavio Espinoza
    Flavio Espinoza Day ago

    I must have Jurassic Universe poster

  • Michael Vincent
    Michael Vincent 2 days ago

    I enjoy your reviews much more than this film. I agree with some of the other comments that praise the actors and the lighting. I also echo some of the criticisms. The dialogue is too segmented and organized. I does not feel very natural. Also, the hand held camera shots do not seem to fit the overall tone I felt you were going for here...next time I would like to see you do a film that has nothing with making films. The "knockoff" films are hilarious. I want to see you do more. Why not horror though???

  • Deiby Arvelo
    Deiby Arvelo 2 days ago +1

    I really enyoed the last few minutes. Very intense. I think Chris wanted this to be this dramatic with the characters spelling out their feelings. I liked it inspite of the bad ("constructive") criticism. The actors did a really good job. The road to perfection is crowded with good and bad criticism. Good job Chris. Keep then coming!

  • Cerberus Studios
    Cerberus Studios 2 days ago

    I emailed you years ago saying this and I still think it, you should review fans short films!

  • Hannah Nguyen
    Hannah Nguyen 2 days ago

    Sorry but I think it’s best to be honest. I stopped watching after 3 minutes. I feels more like a sketch than a movie, for 2 reasons: the bad lighting and the cartoonish characters.
    And it’s not a funny sketch either. You’re going straight to the punchline without building up the jokes. It accidentally make things overdramatic rather than comedic. The actors’ yelling doesn’t help either.
    The music was... off, partly because of the lack of buildup, I felt like I was being told to feel something without a reason to feel it.

  • Jason Knott
    Jason Knott 3 days ago

    I thought this said "Notes From Melania." Was expecting "Hurry up and impeach this guy so I can divorce him!"

  • Dr sreekesh Menon
    Dr sreekesh Menon 3 days ago

    Ur movie sucks dude

  • Ben Schrader
    Ben Schrader 3 days ago

    This is the first short film I’ve seen from this channel, and I must say initial impressions are positive. It’s obvious a lot of effort and attention was put into the production. My main criticism stems from the line deliveries; they felt a little choppy, like each actor was deliberately allowing the other to finish their part. One nitpick is the use of cutaways for the mockbusters. Some of them worked for me, but I would’ve liked to see some more creative uses with the gags; perhaps in a voiceover allow Joe to describe what he believed worked in the film and Melanie counters with why it’s a flop, while having said descriptions play out in the cutaway.
    If I had to give this movie a rating, I think a C+ is appropriate. Overall a solid production effort, with work needed on the writing and lead actors’ performance. I would very much like to see more and the subsequent improvements! 👌🏻

  • Aaron Humphrey
    Aaron Humphrey 3 days ago

    I liked it to start when it was comedic, but when it went dramatic it lost me.

  • Thomas Leisman
    Thomas Leisman 4 days ago +2

    It wasn't good. But I liked the actors. Good acting in movie that sucked.

  • Bradley Taylor
    Bradley Taylor 4 days ago +1

    Good acting!

  • please kill yoursef
    please kill yoursef 4 days ago

    0:26 is that a slightly less evil Shane Dawson?!

  • Farrel Keane
    Farrel Keane 4 days ago +1

    ngl its fucking good short movie tho

  • Patrick Star
    Patrick Star 4 days ago +2

    My primary criticism would have to be the dialog. While the actors played it off well, something about it doesn’t feel right on screen. I recommend that the next time you write a script, you try using an improvised method to make it flow more authentically and organically. Other than that, fantastic job, Chris! It’s a great short film, and I look forward to the several others to come hereafter!

  • Callum Wood
    Callum Wood 4 days ago +2

    I mean it sucks. It's what you expect from a USclipr trying to make non-USclip type content

  • CJ Eldridge
    CJ Eldridge 4 days ago +2

    Chris, you're not funny. The cosmic chicken has spoken. Now time to drink some rhino milk with my N-words.

  • Kyle Stange
    Kyle Stange 4 days ago

    I thought it was decent, no offense man but it felt like a play to me, more than a short film, the acting does feel over the top, like the kind I would see on stage vs on screen, but I really admire the effort you put into making it.
    Good job!

  • Barre86
    Barre86 4 days ago

    pretty gal

  • Bomac Draws
    Bomac Draws 4 days ago +1

    This film was billeart it felt real without feeling having a lack of energy. Just the perfect balance internal drama and comedy made this film both enjoyable and engaging. Thanks Chris so much for not giving up on your dreams as inspiring comic book writer and artist having one more creative being able to succeed by working hard just helps me keep going!

  • Fortnite Tomato
    Fortnite Tomato 4 days ago +1

    Great short!

  • snajath123
    snajath123 4 days ago +1

    Why does the actor RARELY ever blink??

  • Douglas Armstrong
    Douglas Armstrong 5 days ago +1

    Great short film man. Keep up the great work

  • Christopher Cozier
    Christopher Cozier 5 days ago +1

    God bless John Flickinger

  • Juán Snó
    Juán Snó 5 days ago +2

    Hello from across the narrow sea in Austria,
    3 Words: What the Hell.
    I went into this expecting some amature (sorry for my expression) kind of cringeworthy short movie and as soon as it started i was like:" Hm it looks much more elabourate that i thought. I mean the posters and the other props, WOW he really put love into that whole thing. And thats what i´d like to say about this shortfilm, you can feel the love in EVERY second of this beautiful and suprisingly funny and well written piece :) The love towards the characters, towards realistic and entertaining dialogue AND most of all the emmisive LOVE for filmmaking in general as well as terrific movies from the past. Against my expectations i really was moved by Notes of Melanie (especially at the ending). I hope your chareer goes on like this since i can feel the widespread knowledge and talent for filmmaking and it fills me with joy :D
    PS Huge thanks for uploading it via USclip !

  • Samuel Eli
    Samuel Eli 5 days ago

    Two words: Ed Wood

  • puddi puddi lover
    puddi puddi lover 5 days ago

    At first I couldn't get into the plot at all but when the tone changed I actually liked it. I think there is a lot of constructive criticism I agree with, but one I didn't see is for me the visuals were too crisp and saturated- it just looked like a Collage Humour skit to me.
    I didn't mind the shaky camera at all but for me the music was too loud when the dialogue starts (maybe it's because english is not my first language).
    I liked it overall. :)

  • Heyyybo Gagoo
    Heyyybo Gagoo 5 days ago +1

    Loved it !

  • Kriswan Sully
    Kriswan Sully 5 days ago

    PROS...I think it was shot very well...
    The lighting and production looked very professional.
    CONS....the energy of the actors should have been pulled way back, the speed of dialogue needed reduced...I think it would have left more space, especially for the cut scenes.
    You need that space for Comedic moments.
    The lamp between the actors...pulled my vision away every time.

  • Ellen Martin
    Ellen Martin 6 days ago +1

    Proud of you!

  • Sean Hoover
    Sean Hoover 6 days ago +2

    I remember in school my creative writing teacher once told me that a good poem is like a still frame from a film and your job as the poet is to describe just that frame.
    I think for a short film you could say that a good short film is like the best scene from a movie. And in it we learn of the needs /desires of our character and we also put him or her on their path to some kind of resolution.
    I think this does it. Very well done! Enjoyed it quite a bit, laughed a lot. Thanks Chris!

  • Valnus RSA
    Valnus RSA 6 days ago

    I like it.

  • Martin Turon
    Martin Turon 6 days ago

    I thought it was cute and a great first effort.
    The actors are good, but the script is a bit weak and too self-refferantial.
    Big part of the dialogue scenes drag because they are not dynamic. You should give them reasons to move around.
    I would have rented an office, to have proper natural light, and have the main character look somewhat accomplished.
    Here, he seems to be a wannabe-filmmaker, in his living-room, not someone who is even succesful with B-flicks.
    I hope you plan to write something not related to the arts - too often movies are about the struggling artist/writer/musician, with
    characters with their heads in the clouds. The challenge is to write something more universal and real. Palpable.
    Thanks for sharing it, and looking forward to the next one.

  • Shepherd Pandeka
    Shepherd Pandeka 6 days ago +1

    Great short film!!!

  • Ahmed Mo
    Ahmed Mo 6 days ago

    I see the potential and I feel the passion behind it i also see its strengths and weaknesses.. whether people think it's bad, good or great (i personally think it's good) making a film with a minimal budget and imagination and make it happen is truly inspiring and it is much appreciated by all of us, looking forward to see you grow into the film maker you aspire to be.

  • Prajith
    Prajith 6 days ago

    Add John in every movies you make . He’ll easily become the next Dwayne Johnson. He’s was just hilarious. Good job Chris. Keep up your good work

  • John Pearce
    John Pearce 6 days ago +1

    This was really good, I loved all of it. I give it an A+. Sometimes short films can be pretty cringy, but I think this flowed nicely and kept me entertained and chuckling.

  • URIBeFILM
    URIBeFILM 6 days ago +1

    I’m gonna reserve my comments about this piece because I don’t want to hurt CS feelings.

  • braddyboy82
    braddyboy82 6 days ago +3

    For all the shade you threw on Samurai Cop, I was really hoping to see something at least slightly better.

  • Ryan Chadeayne
    Ryan Chadeayne 6 days ago +3

    I love you man, I’ve been watching your videos for years... I really wanted to like this. I really did, but this just wasn’t good. The positives: the actress playing Melanie did a fantastic job, the score is great, and John’s scenes are hilarious (even though they feel more like USclip skits).
    Unfortunately that’s about all that works. The script felt all over the place, and so did the main character (who unfortunately was not played well at all). The writing was ok, a lot of the dialog was a bit on the nose. The tone seems to change up every 15 seconds, and the editing is pretty jarring at times.
    For only 19 minutes, the pacing felt off also. I checked how much time was left multiple times, which never should happen with something so short. Overall it really feels more like a high school short thrown together for a project instead of what I assume you were going for. All that being said, I do see potential, and absolutely love that you actually got this made, no matter how it turned out. Excited to see what else you make.

  • Jonathan Copeland
    Jonathan Copeland 6 days ago

    Great 🙌🏼

  • CAPTAINOFTHEHOCKEYTEAM
    CAPTAINOFTHEHOCKEYTEAM 6 days ago +2

    I jacked off to this

  • Marco Lopes
    Marco Lopes 6 days ago +5

    I'm gonna give The Notes Of Melanie an A

  • gamermanx9000
    gamermanx9000 7 days ago +1

    I'm going to gave Notes from Melanie an A-

  • James Brown
    James Brown 7 days ago +3

    Seeing that long take, only one thing was on my mind: "M. Night Stuckmann".

  • Kal _ 290
    Kal _ 290 7 days ago +2

    Visually, I liked it. Well colour graded, everything looked crisp and polished, and I had no issue with the handheld. A couple too many sweeping pan from left to right - character to character shots, but I get that you're going for an authentic conversation. I didn't mind the music and, given the parameters you described, I thought the cutaways were pretty damn well done.
    The issue with this is THE SCRIPT. People don't talk like this and, with such a character driven piece, their dialogue is obviously essential to making it work. Perhaps with a piece that wasn't about two people in a room talking, it wouldn't have felt quite so obvious, but I just never felt they were speaking off the cuff - and I don't feel that fault rested with the actors. Maybe the editing could have tightening in around the dialogue? For example, plot wise, I like the reveal that they were a couple about a quarter way in, but the lines that reveal the development are too on the nose. Similarly, at the end: their conversation surrounding the conclusion of the script and its two possilbe endings and its mirroring of the ending of your film - it's a nice touch in theory; but I don't know if the parallel needed to be spelled out. Too on the nose. Can they just float two different endings that evoke the thematic conclusions you spelled out and then your viewer can feel the rest on their own?
    All in all, I enjoyed it. I hope your pre-production on your next project allows you room to polish up the script before filming. Perhaps a second set of eyes will iron out the kinks! Keep up the awesome work.

  • franco rios
    franco rios 7 days ago +2

    Its a good short,
    The problem: Crish ist really naive he needs to acept that and play whit it or grow up and reallise that theres more than american blockbuster cinema.

  • Ranger5004
    Ranger5004 7 days ago +1

    Loved it Chris!!

  • Ashraf Abdillah
    Ashraf Abdillah 7 days ago +1

    Brilliant. Touched this lil ol heart of mine

  • J A C K
    J A C K 7 days ago

    Thank god you uploaded this to USclip if you didn’t I couldn’t see it

    I live in a Australia and last time I checked you weren’t showing it near me

  • Eye of the Tiger [][][]

    3:20 How many times has Stuckmann had this same conversation with his wife/fiancee?
    I'm guessing more than a few.
    Feel my Stuckmanizing Sting, Bitches!!!

  • twintails
    twintails 7 days ago +1

    Mason's alright. KateLynn's really good. Script is... needs improving, some of the dialogue came off a lil corny. 5/10

  • Ken Kaneki
    Ken Kaneki 7 days ago +5

    "Aliens that appear out of nowhere, who show up at page 95..."
    This dude could write a Trigger anime.

  • Holdem Agroin
    Holdem Agroin 7 days ago +1

    I feel like you should have at least a few movies under your belt before making one about the art of filmmaking. Try again. This time, write a script about actually something, tell us a story. And try writing characters with consistent personality traits. And make them communicate their emotions somehow, rather then simply spelling them out.

  • Dread Lord
    Dread Lord 7 days ago +1

    Dialogue is amazing and the picture is beautiful. The flick pic was fuckin hilarious.