100 People Tell Us a Joke | Keep it 100 | Cut

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  • Published on Dec 30, 2018
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Comments • 4 446

  • PewDiePie Felix
    PewDiePie Felix Hour ago

    Humankind, officially, sucks at everything.

  • AquariusMM
    AquariusMM 6 hours ago

    3:50 good one

  • Evas Boska
    Evas Boska 9 hours ago +1

    teacher ask Michael:” why do we put oil on the beans ?? “
    michael: “ because our ass won’t be healthy anymore ! “
    another one...
    mom tells her son (Mike)...
    mom: if you don’t pass this test i’m not your mother anymore
    ( after test, Mike goes home )
    mom: oh, hey Mike! how was your test??
    Mike: i’m sorry, who are you?? 😂😂😂😂😂

  • SS Ethereal
    SS Ethereal 13 hours ago

    Why did the chicken cross the road?




    *to get to the other side*

  • Just Chill
    Just Chill 21 hour ago

    Me: tell me a joke
    My fob ass uncle: what you call deer no eye ( what do you call a deer with no eyes?)
    Me: .......
    Uncle: No eye deer 🤣

  • Sushi bae
    Sushi bae Day ago

    What did the chicken say when he book on a hotel


    Excuse me mind if I *CHICK EN* a room for one night😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • Rezart Games
    Rezart Games 2 days ago +1

    What kind of apple grows on a tree?



    All of them badum tssss

  • Michael Gunn-Roberts

    This is exactly why I have such an appreciation for stand up comedy

  • Raf Valle
    Raf Valle 2 days ago

    I was waiting for a filipino say "mama mo joke" AHAHAHAH

  • Animal_ Lover_Gurl
    Animal_ Lover_Gurl 2 days ago

    My mom tells me that there is 1 weirdo in every bus ... I never see him ....... *aquard silence*

  • Bad Animatoons
    Bad Animatoons 2 days ago

    What’s the difference between a lobster with boobs. And a dirty bus station?


    Ones a busty crustacean and the other is a crusty bus station

  • Elizabeth Ynostrosa
    Elizabeth Ynostrosa 2 days ago

    HE FELL ON THE WALL

  • Isa
    Isa 3 days ago

    did you guys see that leprechaun that hides from gay people?

  • francesco occhipinti
    francesco occhipinti 3 days ago +1

    3:00 i didn't get it, and I'm italian😂

  • mia lmao
    mia lmao 3 days ago

    have you have ethiopian food?


    don’t worry neither have they

  • lena monae
    lena monae 3 days ago +2

    4:43 "tell me a joke"
    "my hairline" 😂😂😂

  • Seren Joof
    Seren Joof 4 days ago

    A lickalotopusssss *:)*

  • SBMyee
    SBMyee 4 days ago

    Confucius say: “Man who walk through airport turnstile sideway is going to Bangkok”
    Confucius say: “Wise man never play leap frog with unicorn”
    Confucius say: “Man with dick in cookie jar is fucking crackers”

  • Isobel Denton
    Isobel Denton 4 days ago

    Somebody: Tell me a joke that’s really funny!
    Me: my birth

  • Yù mǐ
    Yù mǐ 4 days ago

    3 blind men walk into a bar
    .
    .
    .
    .
    That's it...that's the joke.

  • I cant find dory
    I cant find dory 5 days ago

    So there was this hedgehog on the road and it was ducking underneath cars when they went past. This squirrel saw him doing it and said "Hey! Can you teach me how you do it?"
    The hedgehog said "Yeah sure! So what you've got to do is duck just when the car is coming. You got that?"
    Squirrel: Yep!!
    But the squirrel died...
    Hedgehog: Aw man!! We never get *three-wheeled* cars!!

  • Chris Perez
    Chris Perez 5 days ago

    “My credit score” I felt that lol

  • Amanda Esther
    Amanda Esther 7 days ago

    Lmaoooo I’m the Michael Jackson lady that is me

  • MKchocoWolf 31
    MKchocoWolf 31 8 days ago +8

    What does the librarian say to the girl?

    Read more

  • Trinity Merrell
    Trinity Merrell 8 days ago

    I have a frayed knot joke on standby for moments like these

  • Artistically Jk
    Artistically Jk 9 days ago

    How do you wake up Lady Gaga?


    You p-p-poke her face

  • Israel Peralta
    Israel Peralta 9 days ago

    The first one not even funny

  • oORachTrash Oo
    oORachTrash Oo 10 days ago

    La Philadelphia in frigo, maronna uccidimi

  • Zintrex
    Zintrex 10 days ago

    0:18 his face was enough to make me laugh

  • Sahara Anime97
    Sahara Anime97 10 days ago +1

    Omg the Italian one made me giggle like a bitch XD

  • Luella Van Steinburg
    Luella Van Steinburg 10 days ago

    This is so awkward

  • Chef praneet
    Chef praneet 11 days ago

    This video is super funny

  • Emanuel
    Emanuel 11 days ago

    Why are black people so tall



    Because their knee grows

  • Pharm Jung
    Pharm Jung 11 days ago

    4:55 hahaha I love this joke

  • Vinwick
    Vinwick 11 days ago

    5:42 hands down best one

  • xx rane xx
    xx rane xx 11 days ago

    Tell me a joke....
    Me: my life

  • Kang Mi Hi
    Kang Mi Hi 11 days ago

    What did one nose say to the other nose?




    *no one nose*

  • Michelle ‘
    Michelle ‘ 11 days ago

    4:32 I strangely feel bad for her

  • Michelle ‘
    Michelle ‘ 11 days ago

    I’m stealing some of these
    😂

  • agelu alopepe
    agelu alopepe 11 days ago

    1:11 the laugh had me sent

  • Idek Idek
    Idek Idek 11 days ago

    Myself

  • Aliaaa
    Aliaaa 11 days ago

    4:33 looks like a yearbook picture

  • Emily Feimer
    Emily Feimer 11 days ago

    Why did the fast kid drop his ice cream?
    -What?
    Cause he was hit by a bus.
    *pause*
    It's called an anti-joke. It's not funny. It's not supposed to be funny. *slightly worried*

  • Emily Feimer
    Emily Feimer 11 days ago

    Girl: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

    Dude: What?

    Girls: Ilickalottapaus

  • Katherine Villegas-Jimenez

    you wanna hear a joke?
    go back to the first word... hehe

  • spirited away
    spirited away 11 days ago

    3:51 Hi, Lorelai Gilmore!

  • Hopper M
    Hopper M 11 days ago +1

    I told this joke when I was 4 years old
    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Tree trunk
    Tree trunk who?

    Tree trunk driving a car... yeah I know...awful

  • Beau
    Beau 11 days ago

    2:21 anyone know her instagram @ ?

  • GOBLIN
    GOBLIN 12 days ago

    *It MaKeS mY sOn GiGgLeS LiKe A bItCh* ends up saying the worst joke ever.

  • Muncheybobo
    Muncheybobo 12 days ago

    2:20 A knife job

  • GDatti
    GDatti 12 days ago

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    To get to the idiots house.
    Knock Knock
    Whos there?
    The chicken

  • Kerem Tezcan
    Kerem Tezcan 12 days ago

    Astronaut 1: i can’t find the milk for my coffee!
    Astronaut 2: In the vacuum of space noone can. Here, use cream

  • Vizkez
    Vizkez 12 days ago

    these jokes are so bad omg

  • ᴛꜱᴜᴋɪ ʟɪᴇᴘᴀ

    "Tell me a joke"
    *Me, an intellectual: ur life hah got em'*

  • Panos Kevop
    Panos Kevop 12 days ago +4

    What do you call a belt made out of watches?


    A waste of time.

  • The Kidd
    The Kidd 12 days ago

    what do you call a deer with no eyes ....... no eye deer

  • SilentHP
    SilentHP 12 days ago

    okay here's one its racist but its funny whats the similarity between a black man and a chainsaw

    they both work best with a chain attached.

  • Jelle Verbeek
    Jelle Verbeek 12 days ago

    WHEN THEY CUT HER OFF SAYING THE JOKE ABOUT THE WOMAN BYE

  • Bennyb0y 15
    Bennyb0y 15 12 days ago +2

    2:50 Where do you bury somebody with OCD?
    In a symmetry!
    *I DIED*

  • angry riot152
    angry riot152 12 days ago

    Me: why did the chicken cross the road?
    My friend: why?
    Me: to get to the cowards house
    Me: nock nock
    My friend: who's there?
    Me: the chicken 👌👌🐔

  • BTS suga
    BTS suga 12 days ago

    Person: tell me a joke
    Me: my life..
    Person:
    Me:ᴵ'ᵐ ˢᵒʳʳʸ..

  • Kartoffel
    Kartoffel 12 days ago +2

    My favourites:
    (6:23)
    "Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
    Cause he only *comes* once a year.
    HA-"

    (6:31)
    "What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
    A virgin mobile".
    (I was dying cause they came right after eachother)

  • Wantsumbread
    Wantsumbread 12 days ago +1

    Three Native Americans walk out of a bar

    It could happen

  • Samira Aguilar
    Samira Aguilar 12 days ago

    “Is there any Michael Jackson jokes”
    YES THERE IS!
    Guy 1: hey is Michael Jackson white or black in heaven
    Guy 2: white because everyone is perfect in heaven
    (Sorry that’s it’s racist it’s the only joke I know)

  • FoxyPirateFox9054
    FoxyPirateFox9054 12 days ago

    What do you call a cow with no legs?

    Ground beef

  • pärle
    pärle 12 days ago

    i hate the fact that someone said my life and still thought that was funny. grow up, youre not 12 are you?

  • Dalo Mardan
    Dalo Mardan 12 days ago +1

    Little Jonny played with his train until his dad heard him say "you idiots wanna get on come in if u gonna get out get the fuck out" so his dad took the train and an hour later Jonny got it back. When he got back he said "ladies and gentelmens if u wanna get on the train u may now get on and if u wanna get off u may now wanna get off and if u wanna complain about the one hour delay GO TALK TO THE FKING IDIOT WHO TOOK THE TRAIN AWAY"

  • Dellojka
    Dellojka 12 days ago

    3:48 xDDDDDDDDDDDDD

  • Olivier vdB
    Olivier vdB 13 days ago

    This is a long one.
    A rabbit goes to the baker and asks do you have carrot cake. The baker replies no sorry we don't. The rabbit walks away sad. The next day the rabbit comes back and asks the same thing. The baker still doesn't have any and the rabbit walks away sad again. For the third day the baker makes carrot cake specially for the rabbit. The rabbit comes in the bakery and ask's do you have carrot cake the baker happy answers yes we do where on the rabbit replies they taste bad don't they.

  • Irati Imaz
    Irati Imaz 13 days ago

    Va un caracol y derrapa

  • gianni neve
    gianni neve 13 days ago

    3:00 i did not expect an italian joke? stan
    the fsh one really got me

  • Retro
    Retro 13 days ago

    Knock knock
    Who's there
    Ash
    Ashwho
    Bless you

  • Lina
    Lina 13 days ago

    4:30 the laugh is amazing hahaha

  • Auhona Aurah
    Auhona Aurah 13 days ago +1

    Crew : *Tell me a joke*
    Me : *My life* ?
    :')

  • lacey m
    lacey m 13 days ago

    1:53 WHY DID I ACTUALLY LAUGH HELP

  • the world of chip thr guinea pig

    Bruh I died he said "tell me a joke,my credit score"😂😂💀

  • Aroha Gaia
    Aroha Gaia 13 days ago

    What’s worse than eating a mandarin?
    Eating Amanda out

  • dear_twentyone_phan howlter

    (i stole this from someone but whatever ✌️)
    What’s T-Series in the air?



    Air Pollution

  • isabella lan
    isabella lan 14 days ago

    *why did the chicken cross the road*


    *_tO gEt tO thE oThEr siDe_*

  • Leshpurg
    Leshpurg 14 days ago

    This isn’t really a funny joke so much as a shock-value short story/joke, but here’s the one I always think of when I’m asked to tell a joke:
    A guy walks into a whorehouse with $5 and asks the woman at the front desk if he can get anything for that price. After thinking for a while, she says, “Betty can help you out, she’s the last door on the left” as she points down the hallway beside them. The guy walks in and thinks to himself that the woman inside, presumably Betty, wasn’t what he really wanted but then again this is what he got for $5. He pays her, and when he slides inside of her, it’s pretty unpleasant; She was extremely dry, and it almost felt like rubbing sandpaper against his dick, so he pulled out and asked if there was anything she could do about that She frowned and begrudgingly said she could for another $5. Though annoyed by this, the man was more desperate than concerned about his money at the time, so he paid her the extra $5. Betty gives a forced smile to the man as she walks into the bathroom inside the bedroom, saying she’ll be out in a minute. 10 minutes later she comes back into the room, and the man slides inside of her again. This time, the experience is the opposite of before; it’s the softest, smoothest, wettest thing he’s ever felt, and cums in practically minutes because of this. As he’s zipping up his pants, he asks her what she could’ve possibly done to do that. Betty replies with a smile, “For an extra $5, I pick off the scabs.”
    Some of my friends think this is funny, I am so, so sorry if you don’t think it is.

  • bts meow
    bts meow 14 days ago

    1:15 the person died
    Lmaf im dead to..Well because of the person.Not the joke...Sry

  • Soul -Z
    Soul -Z 14 days ago +1

    4 gay dudes walk into a bar. Only one bar stool. What do they do?

    Flip over the stool.

    • Rico
      Rico 13 days ago

      Omg💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

  • Valkyrie Lesper
    Valkyrie Lesper 15 days ago

    When does a joke become a dad joke?
    When the punchline is apparent (a parent)

  • Christal
    Christal 15 days ago

    1:53 🤣

  • •mael •
    •mael • 15 days ago

    tHE OCD ONE PFJKSLSKD-

  • wehofu fweiu
    wehofu fweiu 15 days ago

    2:20

  • person guy
    person guy 15 days ago

    2:43 no please

  • Lindsay Davis
    Lindsay Davis 15 days ago

    Wanna know how to build a bear trap? So, in the winter, go out into your backyard and dig a really big/deep hole. Line it with peas as bait, and fill it with ask to make it appear shallow. In the spring, the peas will have sprouted. So, *when a bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole*

  • Alexandra Purps
    Alexandra Purps 16 days ago +2

    What is red and hurts your teeth?
    A Brick

  • Kangel15
    Kangel15 16 days ago

    Q: Whats brown and sticky?
    A: a stick
    Q: what do you call a pile of cats?
    A: a meowntain
    Q: what's it called when KFC, popeyes and chick fil a get into a fight?(I think this is the right combo)
    A: a 3 piece
    I stole these from a video of fb. The guys were so funny

  • GhostChloe
    GhostChloe 18 days ago

    OKAY PAUSE ON 3:50
    now: Look up Kelly Pfaff on google
    THIS IS A BELGIAN FAMOUS PERSON LOOK ALIKE OK bye

  • Rida Zahra
    Rida Zahra 18 days ago

    I DID NOT LAUGH

  • Dimitri Isov
    Dimitri Isov 18 days ago

    Swan fuck you and the ant feelers were the most original, I like the nun one too

  • Dill
    Dill 18 days ago

    What do you call a Mexican baptism? Bean dip. How did Helen Keller burn her fingers? She was trying to read the waffle iron

  • Mostly Faded
    Mostly Faded 19 days ago

    So one day I was sitting in class and we were doing a unit on health. The teacher pointed at a penis on the wall and asked the class what that was. A kid raised his hand and said “that’s my dick” he is known as Albert enstien. It’s a stolen joke and I fucked it up

  • Hannah Naima
    Hannah Naima 19 days ago

    What does on wall say to another?
    We'll meet at the corner.

  • Hope Irwin
    Hope Irwin 19 days ago

    The egg joke at 5:18 xD

  • Glenn Aaron
    Glenn Aaron 20 days ago

    we need a name captain 4:16 , 5:06

  • Anita Boušková
    Anita Boušková 20 days ago

    A dick joke with my name yay :)))

  • Litty committee member

    How many Jews can you fit in a car
    3 in the back
    2 in the front and
    6 million in the ashtray