Jimmy On McDonalds | Jimmy Carr: Telling Jokes

Share
Embed
  • Published on Oct 15, 2019
  • Is anyone taking their girlfriend on a date to McDonalds?
    The Official Channel for the biggest face in British comedy (literally the biggest face - it's like the moon.)
    For the latest tour dates and tickets: www.jimmycarr.com/live/
    #JimmyCarr
  • ComedyComedy

Comments • 247

  • Kaloyan Bankov
    Kaloyan Bankov Month ago +1

    McDonald's coffee is actually pretty good

  • ATL
    ATL Month ago

    Not even funny

  • Craig Thompson
    Craig Thompson Month ago

    Why is Jimmy standing infront of a picture of Muhammad Ali??

  • joespice1999
    joespice1999 Month ago

    What does mcdonalds and michael jackson have in common? They both put 40 year old meat inside 12 year old buns. Lol... that would have been a great jimmy carr joke there

  • Lewis Kelly
    Lewis Kelly Month ago +2

    Did Jimmy pay his taxes on this show?

  • Pwrinkle Johnson
    Pwrinkle Johnson Month ago +1

    A McDonald’s toilet once made me doze off. It was in Japan. The lighting was soft, the walls were deep red, the seat was heated and a babbling brook was oozing from the speakers. Best lunch ever!

  • No ThisIsPatrick
    No ThisIsPatrick Month ago +3

    Literally for the past few years all I’ve gone into McD’s for was the toilet. Actually one time I had ice cream. 👌🏼

  • Citric Big t
    Citric Big t Month ago

    Explain the underground joke please

  • Callum Ratcliffe
    Callum Ratcliffe Month ago +1

    TRANSGENDER ⚧!

  • observer 28
    observer 28 Month ago

    Jimmy Carr is not funny. He is no comedian...... he is a bore-edian

  • Specialized 29er
    Specialized 29er Month ago +29

    who was living underground for 25 years?

  • Reeze Vlog
    Reeze Vlog Month ago +8

    he looks like an android...

    • H M
      H M Month ago +1

      Or a creepy ventriloquist

  • John C
    John C Month ago +3

    McDonalds is the main reason we have so many 300 lb. mastodons waddling around here in the states, that and a lack of mental and physical exercise.

  • Gambit771
    Gambit771 Month ago +2

    Notice he couldn't ask him if she'd booked a restaurant for valentines day.

    • Gambit771
      Gambit771 Month ago

      @fenhen Good luck believing that.
      Not saying it never happens but there's a massive reason that out is men judged and mocked for taking their partner out and not the other way round.

    • fenhen
      fenhen Month ago

      Gambit771 yes...?
      If you’re a man and you’re unhappy that your girlfriend doesn’t take you out, then get a new girlfriend. Don’t suggest that this somehow means that Jimmy Carr couldn’t ask if it were possible.

    • Gambit771
      Gambit771 Month ago

      @fenhen He couldn't because the joke relies on someone taking their partner to an expensive restaurant.

    • fenhen
      fenhen Month ago

      What do you mean he “couldn’t”? He could have, he just didn’t.

  • Mr Jam
    Mr Jam Month ago

    this guy is not funny

  • Yes Man
    Yes Man Month ago

    Var ‘tis darse lol

  • Patricia Xxxx
    Patricia Xxxx Month ago +3

    Great work on the makeup.. looks great!!

  • OLBICHL
    OLBICHL Month ago

    wha... ohhhh McDonalds... I was hearing madonna's and wondered what experience one would have there... your tastebud's probably like a virgin, touched for the very first time.
    A Brit-restaurant would even be so expensive, you'll pull your hair out

  • Russell Anderson
    Russell Anderson Month ago

    Enjoyed your video and gave it a Thumbs Up

  • orionvassi
    orionvassi Month ago +3

    In Hong Kong, McDonalds saved my ass on many occasion. Thanks for the can Ray!

  • Fishpest Aussie
    Fishpest Aussie Month ago +8

    Oh keep going, there's day's left of Mc Jokes you can give out, the only food in the world that will outlook and outlast the consumer in appearance

  • ObZ Machine
    ObZ Machine Month ago +53

    Mc Donald's is a real estate business

  • Rainer Riegler
    Rainer Riegler Month ago +2

    2 seconds in and I'm already laughing

  • wilson lawson
    wilson lawson Month ago +14

    And whenever I went in the lavvy at a MacDonald they were always clean.

    • Jake Heke
      Jake Heke Month ago

      @Regimeshifts wankers

    • Calum Robinson
      Calum Robinson Month ago

      @Regimeshifts I'm fairly sure only this one person...

    • Regimeshifts
      Regimeshifts Month ago +1

      who says lavvy?

    • Fishpest Aussie
      Fishpest Aussie Month ago

      The staff were always having to clean up the vomit on the walls

  • MARTIN BS
    MARTIN BS Month ago

    Pls explain joke at 1:00

    • Steve A
      Steve A Month ago +1

      The Lads. Bad things? U r the master of understatement.

    • The Lada
      The Lada Month ago

      I heard it's 'bout some guy called Joseph Fritzl. The guy locked his daughter into a basement for around 25 years. He also did some bad things with his daughter.

  • John Smith
    John Smith Month ago

    This guy looks like he’s Gnna pull a rabbit out of his ass

  • LDM2015
    LDM2015 2 months ago

    McDonald's is shite, burger king is way better

  • Simon TV
    Simon TV 2 months ago

    This is new haha

  • Scott Walker
    Scott Walker 2 months ago +5

    Last time I went to a McDonald's, there was a HUGE woman and 2 piggies that might've been her kids.
    They got several filled trays and then talked about how good they are doing on their diet…

    • Fishpest Aussie
      Fishpest Aussie Month ago

      @Scott Walker Might have blown their Hangcock thongs out huh, life is sure tough on the poor downtrodden housewife, bet she grabbed a traveller roast chook and 3 litres of Coke on the way home

    • Scott Walker
      Scott Walker Month ago +1

      Fishpest Aussie yeah. They backed off to only half the delivery load instead of 2/3 of it

    • Fishpest Aussie
      Fishpest Aussie Month ago +1

      What, had they cut back on their 20000 kilojoules consumption on their first trays

    • Scott Walker
      Scott Walker Month ago

      LitoGeorge yeah. They deliver now…

    • LitoGeorge
      LitoGeorge Month ago +1

      @Scott Walker well, then its time to leave the choices to the people. You can take a pig to McDonalds but you can't.......... oh wait.

  • qantya
    qantya 2 months ago +2

    I haven't eaten food-like substances from McDonald's since 1977, which helps explain my perfect health.

  • David Houghton
    David Houghton 2 months ago +1

    I’d rather eat my shoe than McDonald’s!💩

    • Hareece Thorogood
      Hareece Thorogood Month ago

      @avinotion I see what you did there👏

    • avinotion
      avinotion 2 months ago +1

      Obviously. Those clown shoes are enormous!

  • Aierek
    Aierek 2 months ago +7

    NEVER SIT FRONT ROW

  • flyhound97
    flyhound97 2 months ago +1

    It's McDonald's, not McDonalds. You should at least get the grammar correct.

    • Fishpest Aussie
      Fishpest Aussie Month ago

      @flyhound97 ** McDonald's (@McDonalds) · Twitter straight off google but who cares we all know what Maccas is and that was the whole point, cheers

    • flyhound97
      flyhound97 Month ago

      @Fishpest Aussie *McDonald's

    • Fishpest Aussie
      Fishpest Aussie Month ago

      @flyhound97 Never mind sweety, go back to sleep... clearly your been up all night counting sheep down at Old McDonalds farm

    • flyhound97
      flyhound97 Month ago

      @Fishpest Aussie What conversation?

    • Fishpest Aussie
      Fishpest Aussie Month ago

      @flyhound97 Oh dear 97 hound flys.. FOLLOW THE CONVERSATION B A C K .....

  • Bif Stiff
    Bif Stiff 2 months ago

    nothing orginal

  • Danny R
    Danny R 2 months ago +339

    Going into McDonalds just to use the the toilet is called “Taking a McShit” and if they tell you the toilets are for customers only, and you say that you’ll be back to order when you’re done... that’s a McShit with Lies.

    • RNW
      RNW 14 days ago

      'Taking' it where?
      I 'Have' a McShit....

    • Jamie McCarthy
      Jamie McCarthy Month ago

      Patrick Ball you must be from Grimsby

    • Lord Zaphkiel
      Lord Zaphkiel Month ago

      I've just about McFucking had it.

    • Patrick Ball
      Patrick Ball Month ago

      McDonald s have the worst toilet, s

    • Djhi Normas
      Djhi Normas Month ago

      RUDE IS KING!

  • ArmyOfOne
    ArmyOfOne 2 months ago

    Jim Gaffigan did a gig on this...
    ...you and he are sooo related.

    • Joseph Proud
      Joseph Proud 2 months ago

      ArmyOfOne you think jimmy Carr uploads these videos? Nah

  • Grunthos The Flatulent
    Grunthos The Flatulent 2 months ago +6

    The toilets are usually clean.

    • Patrick Ball
      Patrick Ball Month ago

      There always small with little room .

    • shoredude2
      shoredude2 Month ago +4

      That must be a regional thing. Because here the McToilets usually look like crime scenes.

  • Abel
    Abel 2 months ago +12

    What was the underground bit about?

    • James Watson Atheist Gamer
      James Watson Atheist Gamer Month ago

      The Fritzel burger.

    • Preston Swooper
      Preston Swooper Month ago +1

      Pretty sick. The freak's name should never have been mentioned again. But hey, that's meant to be comedy theses days ^^

    • Silver Shamrock Novelties
      Silver Shamrock Novelties 2 months ago

      He joked about the Josef Fritzl case a little earlier in this show.

    • Shaun Stephens
      Shaun Stephens 2 months ago +1

      This hit the news just before the show was recorded; en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritzl_case

    • al t
      al t 2 months ago +1

      Josef Fritzel

  • Harsh Parekh
    Harsh Parekh 2 months ago +1

    What's the name of this stand up? Is it on Netflix?

    • Tracey A
      Tracey A 2 months ago

      It's Making People Laugh. Was a DVD but is now on usclip.net/user/jimmycarrfansfeatured

  • RIXRADvidz
    RIXRADvidz 2 months ago +2

    McDonald's is Donald Trump's favorite food, another Very Good Reason to never eat it. ever.

    Same for KFC. Quit That Shit. it's killing you outright.

    • Ainz Ooal Gown
      Ainz Ooal Gown 2 months ago

      Sorry to break it to you, but almost every fast food restaurant is bad for you. There isnt many healthy fast food options.

    • Grunthos The Flatulent
      Grunthos The Flatulent 2 months ago

      It's Kentucky Fried Chicken. Don't call it KFC.

  • RIXRADvidz
    RIXRADvidz 2 months ago +16

    Jimmy Carr, the EViL Man's Comedian. no need for the hard sell, all that other stuff, Bonus!

  • Melissa Marshman
    Melissa Marshman 2 months ago +66

    MacDonalds is basically Britain's public toilets chain.

    • Tapio 86
      Tapio 86 2 months ago

      @crucci Takes one to know one

    • crucci
      crucci 2 months ago

      @Tapio 86 Wow you're smart

    • Tapio 86
      Tapio 86 2 months ago

      McDonald's = American

  • Bryan McMillin
    Bryan McMillin 2 months ago +68

    Of course, I take my girlfriend to McDonald's. After a busy day of holding up cardboard signs on street corners, I think we both deserve a break today.

    • James Watson Atheist Gamer
      James Watson Atheist Gamer Month ago

      Extinction rebellion protestor.

    • Bryan McMillin
      Bryan McMillin Month ago +1

      @Fishpest Aussie KitKats are reserved for special occasions...like Breakfast

    • Fishpest Aussie
      Fishpest Aussie Month ago

      Have a KITKAT instead, its healthier and the sugar levels will enlighten you

  • Psychotic Bob
    Psychotic Bob 2 months ago

    Chick in the pink is hot!

  • Jose Fernandez
    Jose Fernandez 2 months ago +2

    lol I always poop at mcdonalds coz I have IBS. mcdonalds is my comfort room.

    • spudnic88
      spudnic88 Month ago

      brah, take Jarrow enteric coated probiotics and that will never happen again. I have crohn's and now I'm good.

    • Fishpest Aussie
      Fishpest Aussie Month ago

      that's the anxiety in you rising as you realize your going to have to place an order..... Oh shet..

    • KaeYoss
      KaeYoss 2 months ago +1

      A McD toilet as comfort room. That is enough to rob me of sleep for the fireseeable future.

  • Kainable87
    Kainable87 2 months ago

    Ah... Jimmy you cheeky bastard... surprised you didn’t blame the US for McDonald’s. It has been here for 79 years and been in the UK for 45 years.

  • Marshall Davis
    Marshall Davis 2 months ago +5

    Weight McDonald's is a restaurant

    • Marshall Davis
      Marshall Davis 2 months ago

      @Bryan McMillin
      Really I wouldn't go that far

    • Bryan McMillin
      Bryan McMillin 2 months ago +1

      I see what you did there. That borders on clever.

  • Lord Debrick
    Lord Debrick 2 months ago

    I love the irony of this audience because you know outside these people are the very PR PC plebs having a go at everyone else for laughing or having an opinion!

    • Grunthos The Flatulent
      Grunthos The Flatulent 2 months ago

      Wtf

    • Rannon
      Rannon 2 months ago

      Here everyone knows it's a joke. Outside it can be rather difficult to differentiate between someone who like here enjoys a bit o' fun and a racist that's decided to be a bit subtle.
      I mean if you tell me the same joke I've heard from my racist great grandpa, how should I know which one you are?

  • Harmxn
    Harmxn 2 months ago +12

    0:58 I don't get that joke, could someone explain it please?

    • LoKeeGama
      LoKeeGama 2 months ago

      en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritzl_case

    • Srithor
      Srithor 2 months ago +1

      #SchnitzelfortheFritzl

    • ERA CASTE
      ERA CASTE 2 months ago

      It was a reference to an earlier topic he brought up, about Fritzl who was imprisoned and raped by her father underground for 25 years.

    • godxad
      godxad 2 months ago +3

      Tsar Nicolas II no problem mate

    • Tsar Nicolas II
      Tsar Nicolas II 2 months ago +4

      godxad Thanks I didn’t get this one neither

  • Jan Baltes
    Jan Baltes 2 months ago +42

    His german is good XD

    • Small Penis
      Small Penis 2 months ago +1

      Jan Baltes XD died when your grandad did

  • stuart balchin
    stuart balchin 2 months ago +2

    Had to go for a poo in McDonald's once there was no toilet paper had to use H Samuel catalog i found on the toilet floor

  • Nik Gnashers
    Nik Gnashers 2 months ago +6

    Who cares who commented 1st, 2nd, or 3rd ? Bunch of bellends. Jimmy Carr is brilliant !

  • Warulven
    Warulven 2 months ago +8

    Correct funny is best funny, thank you Jimmy ! Im down with the influensa fever and this helped me laugh up some slime yeah, thanks lad !

    • WIZARD RAPIER
      WIZARD RAPIER Month ago

      @Srithor yes

    • Srithor
      Srithor Month ago

      @WIZARD RAPIER In bed?

    • WIZARD RAPIER
      WIZARD RAPIER Month ago

      @Srithor I lied

    • Srithor
      Srithor Month ago

      @WIZARD RAPIER You are mean and don't think? Why would you admit to that in public? Also, what about God's nose? That one is none of your business, just like the Emperor's beard!

    • WIZARD RAPIER
      WIZARD RAPIER Month ago

      @Srithor God no, I mean, I don't think so?

  • Paul von Tarsus
    Paul von Tarsus 2 months ago

    What about the drive-through handjob?

  • ITzzJack 1
    ITzzJack 1 2 months ago +2

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • Swordhand #
    Swordhand # 2 months ago +1

    Worm burgers - research it!

    • The Lada
      The Lada Month ago

      @Swordhand # It's cheap food, edible and the Vegans will be happy if it's not out of beef. Practically, a win-win situation!

    • Ainz Ooal Gown
      Ainz Ooal Gown 2 months ago +1

      @Swordhand # Who cares? Does it taste good for the price you are paying? Yes. Is it unhealthy? Not anymore than just regular beef is. So the real point stands to be, who cares and why should they?

    • Swordhand #
      Swordhand # 2 months ago

      MD’s fed worms beef carcasses, the worms practically became beef and were used as burger filers... oh yer people, real talk 💯

    • Rod
      Rod 2 months ago

      okay, got it now, thanks.

    • Srithor
      Srithor 2 months ago +1

      @Rod Google "Elisabeth Fritzl".

  • Matthew Bailey
    Matthew Bailey 2 months ago +45

    I've a friend called shagga, she doesn't like it. haha

  • Blake Stormcrow
    Blake Stormcrow 2 months ago +14

    I got an ad for McDonald's before watching this on my phone. I don't think they understand irony.

    • WIZARD RAPIER
      WIZARD RAPIER Month ago

      @Nunyadam Bidniss bidness=blindness

    • Nunyadam Bidniss
      Nunyadam Bidniss 2 months ago +1

      And clearly, neither do you. Because that's not irony.

  • MeSoPro2018
    MeSoPro2018 2 months ago +4

    Holy shit I wish i would be living in UK just because of you.
    Keep up the great jokes bro

  • Michael M
    Michael M 2 months ago

    USclip is constantly recommending me these Jimmy Carr clips even though I almost never click on them. How the hell do you do that, Jimmy? Did you suck Susan Wojcicki's dick or something?