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Calling my Mom to tell her I'm Trans 💙

  • Published on Feb 14, 2018
  • Explaining a non binary identity to a parent can be a scary and tricky task. People as me all the time for advice on the matter, but until recently I didn't even know how to go about this myself! Just a couple months ago I called my mom to tell her I'm trans. Today I have the privilege of sharing that phone call with you 💙
    Some people have been asking where to get my book :) it’s under my old name, but here:
    Free book:
    Song in beginning: "Stay Alive" by Jose Gonzalez
    Stalk me! (Or don't, I don't own you...)
    Second Channel:
    Instagram: ash_hardell

    Endscreen music by:
  • ComedyComedy

Comments • 36 893

  • Ash Hardell
    Ash Hardell  Year ago +13790

    Boop, description says it all, so I'll just say it again - Explaining a non binary identity to a parent can be a scary and tricky task. People as me all the time for advice on the matter, but until recently I didn't even know how to go about this myself! Just a couple months ago I called my mom to tell her I'm trans. Today I have the privilege of sharing that phone call with you 💙
    Happy Valentines Day if you're into that! :)

    • Jim Kutsko
      Jim Kutsko 8 days ago

      When I came out to my parents as nonbinary it was so tough and my dad said that it was weird, I almost killed myself it hurt my so much

    • # Unicorn Dreamers
      # Unicorn Dreamers 9 days ago

      Ash Hardell I support you 100000% and I’m so happy she supports you and I want to let you know that you are super brave your re now one of my role models and I’m so happy for you much love ❤️!!!

    • Marshmellow Fluff
      Marshmellow Fluff 14 days ago

      It's ok if you cry, i cried one because I had to play the piano, I'm STILL playing the piano.😁I got you.

    • Paul Damon jr
      Paul Damon jr Month ago

      Ash I need your help how do I tell my family that in LGBT+ should I tell my mom first my dad or aunt because she is lesbians solo please help ash

    • rifiyaatjuh
      rifiyaatjuh 2 months ago


  • Willow Shaffer
    Willow Shaffer 35 minutes ago

    I think you are pretty whatever sexuality you are don't ever let people tell you are not enough because you are prefect just the way you are😁😁😁😁😁😊😊😊

  • Amanda Cobble
    Amanda Cobble 4 hours ago

    Don't worry she will pay her consequences when she dies

  • Tess Golds
    Tess Golds 8 hours ago

    I came out to everyone with my voice mail xD

  • Pearllyn Techur
    Pearllyn Techur 14 hours ago

    Me: uh, Mom I'm le-
    Mom: WHAT THE F-FIRETRUCK, WHAT ARE YOU HUH **grabs thy leather belt**
    Me: L-LAte fOr SChOOl!!! ┭┮﹏┭┮

  • Chronic Illnesses cant stop me

    For my cousin, they go back and forth which is totally fine. One week they will wear boy clothes and than the next week they will wear girl clothes. Sometimes there name is Lelah and sometimes their name is Leo

  • Kay M
    Kay M 17 hours ago


  • El karma
    El karma 20 hours ago +2

    I pranked my mom and she was understanding but pissed 😂💀

  • Freya Sheldon
    Freya Sheldon Day ago

    My mum would have told me to spit it out as soon as I told her I had something to tell her.
    For real though, you're amazing and I'm so proud of you!

  • Will Neverforgets

    you have good parents...

  • Ariel Taylor
    Ariel Taylor Day ago

    Me: mom I’m Pan
    Mom: k now get me a coke

  • Noemi Aparicio_ weirdo

    I’m scared to tell my mom, I don’t know what gender I like😭and I don’t wanna lose her and my relationship and I don’t want her to look at me different and not see me as her little girl😢 and I’m scared and my dad is Vary into church so if I tell him he will get the Bible and he would hate me and ughhhh idk I’m just said. But I don’t understand how you can go to hell just for being happy😂😭😭😭😭I don’t know what gender I like🤧

  • Sydney MacDonald

    *mentally ill

  • lps emma
    lps emma Day ago

    You are very brave awsome job

  • Tristan Fero
    Tristan Fero Day ago +1


  • faith gamer
    faith gamer 2 days ago

    non binary or genderfluid.

  • Evie Gacha
    Evie Gacha 2 days ago

    Me: Mom I'm leaving
    Mom: why!?
    Me: remember yesterday?? U don't accept me, so I'm going

  • Apdiyo Z
    Apdiyo Z 2 days ago

    I am assuming most of you are like him/her or they 🧐

  • Wolfycats 77
    Wolfycats 77 2 days ago


  • Born Again Blessed WWJD

    you guys are lucky. I took me Over 20 years to come out to everyone & my Fam: mom, dad, 2 little bros and 1 Big Sis. I was way Happy. but after Secretly starting My HRT I Was So HAPPY AND EXCITED ..BUT I ..Felt Bad about what I was doing to my Family and the confusion I had caused. ...they were not exactly Unsupportive of me, In Fact MY dad took a Class on Transgender Stuff with other Parents, Just to understand what the heck it even meant. But For some reason No one in my Family would Talk about it with me except for that very first time that I first Came Out and Told them but after that it was like everyone was trying to Pretend it wasnt happening.... I Felt like .? how does that saying go "Like an Elephant in the Room"? Like they didnt Say bad things but they Also didnt say anything Good Either and it Really Hurt me. I mean it CRUSHED ME. I Could Tell they were Thinking and Hoping that I Would Simply Grow out of it like a Faze or Something.
    LIKE oh he was Goth then he was Emo and now he thinks -.- Hes a GIRL. AND Its because :'( I felt so bad. i then told everyone I wasnt Transgender (Mtf) anymore and I Stopped my HRT after I waited So Long :'( to finally get to Begin it.. And I even Cut ALL of My Long Blonde Hair off. From My back to just like 2 inches left. (I'm also Christian so is my Family. And nothing against Jesus or God and I love Jesus. Tho I wish he would have CREATED me as a Baby Female since he knew how Miserable I would be in this Body. which i dont mean to be ungrateful for either. and I know it specifically states God doesnt want me to wear Womens "Garments or "lay with a man the way one would lay with a women" I'm not gay but I only like Transgendered Females I stay Single and abstinent at all times (I've also had Legit (0) friends for the last 7 years of my life) .........AND NOW NEARLY EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE, I FEEL SICK, EMBARRASSED, FILLED WITH REGRET. IT EATS AT ME EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE, KNOWING THAT I WAS FINALLY MORE HAPPY THAN I HAD EVER BEEN BEFORE, BY FINALLY JUST BEING MYSELF AND THAT I NEVER HAD TO GO THROUGH COMING OUT AGAIN.
    sometimes trans people are mistaken but I wasnt, I simply just wanted to feel my parents were proud of me and think of me as Thier Youngest Daughter but I could tell that they looked at me as their Mixed Up Son. ....BUT my parents didnt do anything wrong. its not their fault tho. its mine. In The end I made the choice to Stop Transitioning. They handled the situation the best they could. I know they tried to help me not feel *Awkward* but it didnt make me feel *Comfortable* if that makes sense.. ya know .. in the end I made the wrong decision to Detransition. My Advice to anyone in a similar situation with similar feelings. Talk to your Family about how you feel before you Back out all together. Now I live everyday AND NIGHT Of my life as a Stupid Boy. when I know how much Happier i would be as a Girl. it's hard to even fall asleep laying there in this Body, wearing these clothes living This Life. ...😥😔😞😭 && now I'll be depressed forever and ever and no counseling doesnt help it. I've used it for years. The only thing that would help it going back in time and Sticking out the HRT until my family got used to it. ...... .. My Life could be entirely different right now but it's not and my Family still isnt proud of me. and Worst of all I've never been more disappointed in myself.

  • JuvenileAustenn. . .

    U lesbowmaniac y tell her you transformer she wants ur diccc now I'm liking the video

  • †єνєlιиє - cհαղ†

    Dude don't worry! Why are you crying?? You're not alone!❤❤

  • Kaylee Gacha
    Kaylee Gacha 3 days ago

    I want to tell my mom I’m bi but not until a while ;-;

  • Samara K
    Samara K 3 days ago

    Why would you do this over the phone?

  • Jewels F
    Jewels F 3 days ago

    Me: “mom can I tell you something?”
    Mom: “yeah” walks away
    Me: “MOM this is serious stop washing the dishes!”
    Mom: “DONT YELL AT ME!” She starts dishwasher and vacuums
    Me: quietly says “I’m Bisexual”

  • Carolina Rivera
    Carolina Rivera 3 days ago

    I cried by how supportive your mom was. You deserve that and more!

  • ShikiArts
    ShikiArts 3 days ago +3

    **Leaves HotTopic after buying rainbow socks**
    Me: Mom, I think I like girls
    Mom: I think you like girls too
    Me: wait what?
    Mom: You weren’t very discreet about it, Ms. Rainbow socks.

  • Carl
    Carl 4 days ago

    Best of luck to in the future.

  • Irvin Cota
    Irvin Cota 4 days ago

    F u

  • ThisSadPotatoe
    ThisSadPotatoe 4 days ago

    is this person male or female by birth I am so confused

  • DIYer67
    DIYer67 4 days ago


  • bev252010
    bev252010 4 days ago +3

    “Are you doing drugs?” Same bro

  • MeekWeak AnimeFreak
    MeekWeak AnimeFreak 5 days ago

    (I'm adopted by my step aunt)
    Me: I'm transgender. . .
    Aunt: *spanks me*
    Me: F*$k YOU!!!*CRIES*
    Hi, my name is Kyle (Don't mind the profile name)
    I'm a transitioning male. I'm 13 yrs old and I know that that is a young age to consider my sexuality but, I don't know. It's complicated. Also, I have been mistaken for a male anyway.
    Mainly for me being early bloomer, its hard to hide the fact I'm still a girl. And with my aunt not approving makes it even harder. I hope people will support me and my identity💙

  • xxElif MSPxx
    xxElif MSPxx 5 days ago

    This is so cute

  • Jayden Perez
    Jayden Perez 5 days ago

    I am ftm trans. I am kind of jealous of the reaction ash's mom had tbh. My parents didnt support me at all. I told them i was trans at 13 because i was sure. My dad threw a bottle at me and they both screamed at me. For a year they wouldnt let me near non feminine clothing or near scissors. I was basically trapped. When they left the house on day while i was 14 i cut my hair. I had one of the hair cuts most k-pop idols seem to have (jungkook bts). They came home and yelled at me more. For a month of them yelling at me i threatened to move out. That finally got them to sit down and have a serious talk. It took almost a year and a half for them to support me. Now im 20 and almost 2 years on T. And i am out as gay. The fact that Ash's mom was so supportive makes me a little jealous but i am happy the Ash has the support they deserve.

  • Gina Krawiec
    Gina Krawiec 5 days ago +4

    Coming out as queer to my mom:
    Mom: so you like boys
    Me: yep
    Mom: and you like girls
    Me: yep them too...& others
    (Long pause)
    Mom: okay then. I still want grandkids.
    Me: noted

  • iDEE72
    iDEE72 5 days ago

    I'm not sure about this, I'm thinking about the kids that get thrown out of their homes.

  • betawants
    betawants 5 days ago

    the editing on this is so amazing

  • broke
    broke 5 days ago +1

    I love your mum?? pls adopt me??

  • ttuuyffhuyrff gydy77ugcdyuuff

    Ktoś z polski?

  • Elden Goldblood
    Elden Goldblood 6 days ago +1

    41k people disliked this.

  • Madeline E Curtis
    Madeline E Curtis 6 days ago

    Your face at 7:52. I’m sorry. I love you very much

  • Madeline E Curtis
    Madeline E Curtis 6 days ago

    I cried during the call. It would be hard to tell your parents, and then it goes to other people in your family and friends

  • Madeline E Curtis
    Madeline E Curtis 6 days ago

    Glad you told her. I love your hair at the beginning not in the blue shirt

  • Rebel Jonson
    Rebel Jonson 6 days ago

    And I love youre voice it's so cute

  • Rebel Jonson
    Rebel Jonson 6 days ago

    I'm Bisexual 🏳️‍🌈 I support you. I support you. You're beautiful or hansome whichever one you perfer I just hope you have a endless supply of great days.

  • Saturn Chan
    Saturn Chan 6 days ago

    nO! *i'M nOT dOING dRUgs!*

  • iGuessItsArt -Sasuke

    I haven't come out to my mother yet, but I know for sure that a am Pan but Im not sure how to. I wouldn't want her to reject me since my father rejected my brother for being gay. I am glad your mom is very helpful

  • Ashley Jennings
    Ashley Jennings 6 days ago

    Your fabulous

  • BadAss 88
    BadAss 88 7 days ago

    I just ordered your book

  • Freddie Mercury
    Freddie Mercury 7 days ago +1

    I am coming out tm and i am so scared, I realized i was non bi when a camp counselor said they were

  • Faded Facer
    Faded Facer 7 days ago +1

    I wanna be a male but my roommate says its wrong and that i should get use to being a chick and says to close my leg when really i like to be called a male or he or his and when im called she her or woman or girl i just want to cry or this is a ache in my heart i still kind of like girl clothes but i just wanna be me and im scared to tell my family cause my dad doesnt like transgenders or gays and i think my mom will be chill and she will be asking me why i have suddenly told her this.....p.s i cant move out of my house cause im mearly only 13 years old and i live in a grouphome.

  • Hi It's meh
    Hi It's meh 7 days ago

    I don't want my kids to say they are something like it's a news article. I just want them to come home and ( if it's a boy) say "mom this is my boyfriend" like he would a girl

  • Exposing Liars
    Exposing Liars 7 days ago


  • Exposing Liars
    Exposing Liars 7 days ago


  • Antxy
    Antxy 7 days ago +1

    You look like tracer from overwatch! :D

  • Raising Our Rainbow 2017

    I applaud you and your bravery. It can be a very scary thing. I am the Mom to an 8 year old transgender child and we are in awe of her everyday.

  • Rodrigo Aguilar
    Rodrigo Aguilar 8 days ago

    Fake call.

  • Evie Bevie
    Evie Bevie 8 days ago

    This wasn’t even about me and I cried.😅😊❤️

  • Anonymou s
    Anonymou s 8 days ago

    I tried on my new uniform, and I cried because they said I look good.

  • dawseman YT
    dawseman YT 8 days ago

    Male and female is how god intended change my mind

  • Adrian does weird stuff

    Aren't your parents supposed to know your trans when your a child

  • Henry B
    Henry B 8 days ago

    How do you change your chromosomes

  • Rexanne
    Rexanne 8 days ago


  • Daddy Deaky
    Daddy Deaky 8 days ago

    I love ur mug lol🤠💖

  • Dante Mira
    Dante Mira 9 days ago


  • Jackie isn’t cool
    Jackie isn’t cool 9 days ago +3

    wahhh I watched this last year and now I’m watching it again and I’m even sadder-
    I mean, who’s chopping onions?

  • sarra tounsi
    sarra tounsi 9 days ago

    C'est dégoûtant ?!!!

  • Kayla Price
    Kayla Price 9 days ago

    Also oh my gosh your mom sounds so sweet

  • Kayla Price
    Kayla Price 9 days ago +2

    awe smol bean

  • Lucifer Cypher
    Lucifer Cypher 9 days ago +1

    Aww your supported by many I hope you understand that many people will not accept you but some do. Stay strong

    NACK ATK 9 days ago

    I like your enthusiasm and happiness

  • Megan Dick
    Megan Dick 9 days ago

    I'm coming out as nonbinary tomorrow wish me luck this is the most frighting thing iv ever done but I'm doing it

    • Megan Dick
      Megan Dick 8 days ago

      +Gazing Ghost thank you I came out to my mom so it actually went amazing I might have broke down in some tears but it's okay she knows and she loves me for it for who I am I guess it's all that matters

    • Gazing Ghost
      Gazing Ghost 8 days ago +1

      hope it goes/went well!

  • Paw Man
    Paw Man 9 days ago

    how did i run across all this freakarama crap.

  • Madisen Weaver
    Madisen Weaver 9 days ago +1

    Aww you are just overall really cute. I'm glad everything turned out ok.

  • hakaonima
    hakaonima 9 days ago +1

    My coming out
    Me: hey mom I think I'm trans...
    My mom: I thought you were a lesbian.
    Me:. ......

  • Burnt Egg7763
    Burnt Egg7763 9 days ago

    NO Im NoT DoInG DRugs

  • Burnt Egg7763
    Burnt Egg7763 9 days ago

    I honestly really like your voice

  • Vale Orozco
    Vale Orozco 9 days ago +4

    Ur so cute be my “boyfriend” if you like that tittle 🥺

  • QueenSlothy
    QueenSlothy 9 days ago +1

    I’m in tears! I’m like an entire year late! I am just really jealous that your mother accepts you. Congratulations Ash! My parents won’t accept me so I’m not going to tell them. You and grace are perfect together! ❤️❤️

  • Bacchus Wackus Gnome
    Bacchus Wackus Gnome 10 days ago +1

    Non binary isn't a thing. You're male or female.

  • Lizz _
    Lizz _ 10 days ago +1

    Okay, this is weird...
    I remember watching this video a while back and yesterday, my friend handed me this book. "THE ABC'S OF LGBT+" started the introduction, saw the name, "Ashley Mardell" I thought the name rung a bell and now I'm here typing this comment... MAD🙈

  • Artaf
    Artaf 10 days ago +1

    It doesn't matter what sexuality or gender you are. And if you are comfortable and happy, then that's amazing. Achieve your dreams!

  • The Worst Person Ever
    The Worst Person Ever 10 days ago


  • Just_AutumnYT
    Just_AutumnYT 10 days ago

    theirs only 2 genders

  • Mishel Abbud
    Mishel Abbud 10 days ago

    This is so cute😊

  • Carly Marsh
    Carly Marsh 10 days ago

    How I came out: (I'm a girl btw)

    Me: Mom.

    Mom: What?

    Me: I like girls. I've felt this way since i was very little but never told anyone because I didn't understand it.

    Mom: *looked as if I told her that I killed her puppy* Are you sure?
    After she called my dad up to talk about it they ended up not believing me and telling that I was probably only telling them for attention.
    I was really disappointed and thought they'd have a different reaction because in general they're both quite open-minded and accepting of the LGBTQ+ community.
    I just don't understand how some people have no problems with other people being gay, trans, etc. but when it's their own child, they freak out and feel ashamed of their child's feelings, beliefs, etc.

  • Hannah Bache
    Hannah Bache 11 days ago +1

    I came out to my parents a little while ago as bisexual. Little do they know, I'm not bisexual at all! I'm lesbian, I don't like boys at all. Here's how it went:

    *Walking home with my grandma from school*

    Me: Nan, can we talk please?
    My Nan: Sure, what's wrong?
    Me: I, uh..I like girls *and* boys..
    My Nan: It's okay, honey. I promise you no matter what gender you like I'll still love you
    Me: Awe, thanks Nan! Can I tell dad about it when we get home?
    My Nan: It's up to you Hannah
    Me: Okay, thanks!

    *Arriving at home*

    Me: Dad, I like girls and boys, okay bye
    *Runs up the stairs quickly*

    My dad, faintly in the distance: Well, that was weird

    Me: I like girls and boys, bye
    My brother: Whatever, you're a disappointment-And...YOU'RE ADOPTED!!
    Me: You look like an alien, so I don't care!

    *Coming out to my Teacher!!*

    Me: Mr.Parker... (btw it's fine for me to say that because he's kinda famous, oof)
    Mr.Parker: Yes, Hannah?
    Me: Uh..I'm not really sure how to say it, but..I..Uh..
    Mr.Parker: Take your time, it's okay
    Me: I..Like girls. Like, I don't like boys at all-I only like girls
    Mr.Parker: I'm so proud of you for telling me that, Hannah. If you'd like to, we can talk about it more tomorrow
    Me: I think I'd like that, thank you Mr.Parker
    Mr.Parker: You're welcome *walks away*

    So yeah! That concludes me coming out to my family and teacher! Okay, bye..!!

  • I love Jhopes Smile
    I love Jhopes Smile 11 days ago


  • mute owl
    mute owl 11 days ago +1

    I really feel that down hill after the first voice quiver, I'm totally the same way! this was an awesome video to watch. I've been singing your videos all night and they mean so much to me. I really needed your kind of representation. i feel like my place on the spectrum feels very similar to where you guys are at!! your mom is super sweet and wonderful. I'm glad you have a supportive momma!!

  • Clara Anguiano
    Clara Anguiano 11 days ago

    I’m bi but scared to come out cuz ive heard them talking about how they don’t like it and i have this cousin that we haven’t heard from for years cuz she’s gay and no one really talks to her anymore and it sucks because she was like my bestfriend

  • BubbleGriffin
    BubbleGriffin 11 days ago +1

    at some point in my life, I want to put "they" bathrooms in places like schools, malls, etc.

  • Marine The SeaWing/SandWing

    Me: I'm Pansexual
    My mom: Cool

  • Fur Me Up Studios
    Fur Me Up Studios 11 days ago

    I actually have to say ur pretty cute

  • Joanna Serrano
    Joanna Serrano 11 days ago +2


  • random person
    random person 11 days ago +2

    AGH, just watching this gives me so much anxiety😬

  • ItsMeJohn
    ItsMeJohn 11 days ago


  • Happyhufflepuff 5234
    Happyhufflepuff 5234 11 days ago

    Am crying

  • cracked shrimp
    cracked shrimp 11 days ago

    this, this is how i want to be with my kids. i didn't have that. i want my kids to be like, "shit i gotta call my mom", not "shit, my moms gonna kill me."

  • Minniewolf123 !
    Minniewolf123 ! 11 days ago +1

    Hi I am new to your channel and I think your voice is amazing just going to say that I hope you get through all those difficult times and all the haters out there can suck a crusty toe because you are fabulous the way you are and no one should ever put you down because look at you you inspire others you inspire me so I thank you for everything you’ve done so far and hope you have a good life for head xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙